I accidentally had phone sex last night
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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