its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
