Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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