we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
