no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
