why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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