new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
