I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
