Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
