I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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