if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
