remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
