Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
