Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
