The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
worst night to have a conscience
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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