i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
