I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
