I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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