Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
