What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
