i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage