Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
