1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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