..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
