So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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