i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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