I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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