I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
