I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
