I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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