Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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