are you still at the devil's house?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
