hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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