His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
