new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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