So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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