I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
