you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
