Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
