i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
