I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
