38 yer olds are good kisserssss
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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