we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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