We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
