i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
