So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
