it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
