And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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