a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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