Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
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So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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