He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize