Its about making memories worth repressing
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
