What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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