Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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