What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
