'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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