that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just google imaged poop.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
